There are a million stories and anecdotes floating around out there, just begging
to be written down. Many are hilarious, most are funny, some are poignant,
embarrassing or unintentionally hurtful. I'm looking only for "Theobaldisms",
preferably in the first or second-person, from any of Lil's and
Cookie's descendents. Please send them to me
and spread the word! Thank you!
From my daughter Diane
When Jason was 10 years old and I was still married to his father, I took
Jason with me to K-Mart. You know how the old K-Marts were before
scanners came along. (and before Walmart ruled the world) Everything was keyed in
by hand, there were never enough cash registers open, and the lines were always
long and slow.
Well, I was at the time in my life when I was thinking about possibly
having another baby, but just couldn't bring myself to do it on
purpose, so I got off the pill but used the suppository
birth control method. Well anyway, the reason I was in K-Mart was to by some more
suppositories. I really didn't think Jason would have any curiosity about them since he
wouldn't know what they were. Apparently he realized that they were "something" and
while we were standing in the mile long line at the register, He loudly asks "Mom, what
are those for?"
( you can tell he knows good and well they are something secretive)
I tried to give him a flippant answer, but he
wasn't letting me off the hook that easy. He asked again "But what are they for?"
I was exasperated because the people in the line realized I was getting embarrassed
and that the little booger knew I didn't want to tell him and there
were discreet chuckles coming from behind me. I said
"They are so I won't have any more of you!" (a few more chuckles) Then in an even louder
voice that may as well have come over the "Attention K-Mart Shoppers" speaker, he
announced: "MOM, YOU HAVE A MUSTACHE !!!"
(Now a great many guffaws from my
fellow shoppers) Horrified, I said "JASON !" and he yelled: "WELL,
YOU DO HAVE A MUSTACHE!"
People were almost rolling on the floor by then. Needless to say I got out
of there as fast as I could and never took Jason with me to buy my birth control again.
Jason at 12
From my daughter Paula
One day, when we were in a Red Lobster restaurant, Brandon
then three years old, had to go to the bathroom. When he came back
he exclaimed loudly and proudly, "My poop was THIS BIG!!!"
holding his arms out as wide as they would go. It took another couple of years
for him to learn a little "social ettiquette".
Also when he was three, he got mad at me and said, "Go stand on the porch
and let a wasp sting you!"
Brandon, At nine
From my Sister-In-Law Lucille:
In 1976, our son Robert II and his wife Jane moved to Missouri with
Bobby III and Kristen. A short while later, they all attended Mass at a
friend's house. During a quiet moment as the Mass was progressing,
my then 4 year-old grandson Bobby III stood up and loudly proclaimed:
"MY MEEMAW SAYS BULLSHIT!"
When noone would acknowledge the outburst, he again
stood up and yelled at the top of his voice:
"I SAID THAT MY MEEMAW SAYS BULLSHIT!"
It was several minutes before the laughter was under control and the Mass
could continue. A few months later Bob and I went to Missouri to visit them,
and nearly every person to whom we were introduced said:
"So this is the Meemaw that says Bullshit"?
Bobby III is now a medical doctor with his own practice, and has long since
learned to speak only Latin during Mass.
"I have an announcement!"
From my Son Dean and his wife Rhonda:
It was "Take your child to work day" last week.
Earlier this year, Dean had promised that his 7 year old daughter
Catherine would accompany him on that woderful day. But as luck would have it, Dean was assigned to a job
at the Kennedy Space Center that day, a restricted-access area, and had to break the bad news to Catherine.
When Dean returned from work that day, he found this comment on his computer whiteboard:
Catherine wrote "Today is take your kid to work day!!
I can't go and I'm sad and mad. In fact I'm smad!"
Catherine Delaney Theobald