 A Big Hand For The Little Lady |
Conservative and Liberal
Sisters Rita on the left and Betty
Bowling Team Flappers
Back Row_Betty 1st on left
Front Row_Rita 2nd from left
Before I present Sharon, I have to say a little about her mother Betty and her Aunt Rita.
Betty was always the most productive joker in our family.
She could have you in stitches and curl your socks with
her occasional off-color humor. Rita is here to represent the more conservative side
of our family, although they were in a significant minority.
Betty had no qualms about embarrassing the minority, and her son Chuckie
is carrying on her tradition. Here is one of her favorite, albeit more mild stories.
A Penny Scale
At A Pittsburgh
Bus Station
In Pittsburgh, an attractive young lady was waiting
for her bus to Greensburg. The Greyhound
was running late, so she decided to weigh
herself on the Penny Scale and Fortune Machine.
A little card emerged and stated:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg.
The young lady was simply amazed, so she put the scale
to another test. Again the card came out and said:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg.
This made her so nervous that she had a sudden urge to
go to the bathroom. However, she was only able to pass a little gas.
She returned to the waiting room and decided to try this amazing scale once more.
The card emerged and stated:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and while you were upstairs farting around,
you missed your bus to Greensburg!
Sharon At Two
Look At That Great Face!
My sister Betty and her husband Chuck McCloskey
had three children... Whoops! Make that four!... I mean five children!
The youngest of the first three was 13 when along came
two more beautiful girls in 20 months. Sandy arrived in October 1959
and Sharon in June 1961.
All of Betty's kids were happy and full of fun, but one girl
in particular was born with an innate curiosity, openness,
and wonderful mischievousness that would drive her
mother almost to the brink at times. It's no exaggeration to
say that my niece Sharon had a deliciously devilish look in her eye, that
I first noticed before she was two years old.
We all know that most young children honestly express
their feelings, however Sharon could be brutally honest.
Her Aunt Grace had taken in a boarder, a 25 year old woman named Nora.
One day as she and Grace sat talking, Sharon sat nearby taking it all in.
Nora had just said something about herself not being very
pretty. Sharon graciously tried to sooth her with the comment "Nora
your arms and legs are pretty, it's just your face that's not pretty".
The McCloskey children were taught that all the body parts
between the waist and the thighs, should be referred to
as the "heint". One day when the family was in a restaurant,
Betty took four year-old Sharon into the crowded ladies room. It's understood
that public restrooms harbor bacteria the size of mature hamsters,
and women have an aversion to actually sitting down on the john themselves,
let alone placing their child in danger.
So Betty held Sharon over the pot to relieve
herself. When she was through, it was her mom's turn to
squat a few inches over the bowl. As she did, Sharon
stooped down to peer under her mom's dress and exclaimed quite loudly
"mommy, why do you have hair on your heint?"
Betty tried to shoosh her, but that definitely was the
wrong thing to do with this little lady.
Sharon put her hands on her hips defiantly and shouted at the
top of her voice, "Well! Why do you have hair
on your heint?"
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage
A Penny Scale
At A Pittsburgh
Bus Station
In Pittsburgh, an attractive young lady was waiting
for her bus to Greensburg. The Greyhound
was running late, so she decided to weigh
herself on the Penny Scale and Fortune Machine.
A little card emerged and stated:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg.
The young lady was simply amazed, so she put the scale
to another test. Again the card came out and said:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg.
This made her so nervous that she had a sudden urge to
go to the bathroom. However, she was only able to pass a little gas.
She returned to the waiting room and decided to try this amazing scale once more.
The card emerged and stated:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and while you were upstairs farting around,
you missed your bus to Greensburg!
Sharon At Two
Look At That Great Face!
My sister Betty and her husband Chuck McCloskey
had three children... Whoops! Make that four!... I mean five children!
The youngest of the first three was 13 when along came
two more beautiful girls in 20 months. Sandy arrived in October 1959
and Sharon in June 1961.
All of Betty's kids were happy and full of fun, but one girl
in particular was born with an innate curiosity, openness,
and wonderful mischievousness that would drive her
mother almost to the brink at times. It's no exaggeration to
say that my niece Sharon had a deliciously devilish look in her eye, that
I first noticed before she was two years old.
We all know that most young children honestly express
their feelings, however Sharon could be brutally honest.
Her Aunt Grace had taken in a boarder, a 25 year old woman named Nora.
One day as she and Grace sat talking, Sharon sat nearby taking it all in.
Nora had just said something about herself not being very
pretty. Sharon graciously tried to sooth her with the comment "Nora
your arms and legs are pretty, it's just your face that's not pretty".
The McCloskey children were taught that all the body parts
between the waist and the thighs, should be referred to
as the "heint". One day when the family was in a restaurant,
Betty took four year-old Sharon into the crowded ladies room. It's understood
that public restrooms harbor bacteria the size of mature hamsters,
and women have an aversion to actually sitting down on the john themselves,
let alone placing their child in danger.
So Betty held Sharon over the pot to relieve
herself. When she was through, it was her mom's turn to
squat a few inches over the bowl. As she did, Sharon
stooped down to peer under her mom's dress and exclaimed quite loudly
"mommy, why do you have hair on your heint?"
Betty tried to shoosh her, but that definitely was the
wrong thing to do with this little lady.
Sharon put her hands on her hips defiantly and shouted at the
top of her voice, "Well! Why do you have hair
on your heint?"
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage
|
You are 20 years old and unmarried. You are 5 feet 2 inches tall. You have brown hair and green eyes. You weigh 115 pounds and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg. |
The young lady was simply amazed, so she put the scale
to another test. Again the card came out and said:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg.
This made her so nervous that she had a sudden urge to
go to the bathroom. However, she was only able to pass a little gas.
She returned to the waiting room and decided to try this amazing scale once more.
The card emerged and stated:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and while you were upstairs farting around,
you missed your bus to Greensburg!
Sharon At Two
Look At That Great Face!
My sister Betty and her husband Chuck McCloskey
had three children... Whoops! Make that four!... I mean five children!
The youngest of the first three was 13 when along came
two more beautiful girls in 20 months. Sandy arrived in October 1959
and Sharon in June 1961.
All of Betty's kids were happy and full of fun, but one girl
in particular was born with an innate curiosity, openness,
and wonderful mischievousness that would drive her
mother almost to the brink at times. It's no exaggeration to
say that my niece Sharon had a deliciously devilish look in her eye, that
I first noticed before she was two years old.
We all know that most young children honestly express
their feelings, however Sharon could be brutally honest.
Her Aunt Grace had taken in a boarder, a 25 year old woman named Nora.
One day as she and Grace sat talking, Sharon sat nearby taking it all in.
Nora had just said something about herself not being very
pretty. Sharon graciously tried to sooth her with the comment "Nora
your arms and legs are pretty, it's just your face that's not pretty".
The McCloskey children were taught that all the body parts
between the waist and the thighs, should be referred to
as the "heint". One day when the family was in a restaurant,
Betty took four year-old Sharon into the crowded ladies room. It's understood
that public restrooms harbor bacteria the size of mature hamsters,
and women have an aversion to actually sitting down on the john themselves,
let alone placing their child in danger.
So Betty held Sharon over the pot to relieve
herself. When she was through, it was her mom's turn to
squat a few inches over the bowl. As she did, Sharon
stooped down to peer under her mom's dress and exclaimed quite loudly
"mommy, why do you have hair on your heint?"
Betty tried to shoosh her, but that definitely was the
wrong thing to do with this little lady.
Sharon put her hands on her hips defiantly and shouted at the
top of her voice, "Well! Why do you have hair
on your heint?"
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage
|
You are 20 years old and unmarried. You are 5 feet 2 inches tall. You have brown hair and green eyes. You weigh 115 pounds and you are waiting for a bus to Greensburg. |
This made her so nervous that she had a sudden urge to
go to the bathroom. However, she was only able to pass a little gas.
She returned to the waiting room and decided to try this amazing scale once more.
The card emerged and stated:
You are 20 years old and unmarried.
You are 5 feet 2 inches tall.
You have brown hair and green eyes.
You weigh 115 pounds
and while you were upstairs farting around,
you missed your bus to Greensburg!
Sharon At Two
Look At That Great Face!
My sister Betty and her husband Chuck McCloskey
had three children... Whoops! Make that four!... I mean five children!
The youngest of the first three was 13 when along came
two more beautiful girls in 20 months. Sandy arrived in October 1959
and Sharon in June 1961.
All of Betty's kids were happy and full of fun, but one girl
in particular was born with an innate curiosity, openness,
and wonderful mischievousness that would drive her
mother almost to the brink at times. It's no exaggeration to
say that my niece Sharon had a deliciously devilish look in her eye, that
I first noticed before she was two years old.
We all know that most young children honestly express
their feelings, however Sharon could be brutally honest.
Her Aunt Grace had taken in a boarder, a 25 year old woman named Nora.
One day as she and Grace sat talking, Sharon sat nearby taking it all in.
Nora had just said something about herself not being very
pretty. Sharon graciously tried to sooth her with the comment "Nora
your arms and legs are pretty, it's just your face that's not pretty".
The McCloskey children were taught that all the body parts
between the waist and the thighs, should be referred to
as the "heint". One day when the family was in a restaurant,
Betty took four year-old Sharon into the crowded ladies room. It's understood
that public restrooms harbor bacteria the size of mature hamsters,
and women have an aversion to actually sitting down on the john themselves,
let alone placing their child in danger.
So Betty held Sharon over the pot to relieve
herself. When she was through, it was her mom's turn to
squat a few inches over the bowl. As she did, Sharon
stooped down to peer under her mom's dress and exclaimed quite loudly
"mommy, why do you have hair on your heint?"
Betty tried to shoosh her, but that definitely was the
wrong thing to do with this little lady.
Sharon put her hands on her hips defiantly and shouted at the
top of her voice, "Well! Why do you have hair
on your heint?"
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage
|
You are 20 years old and unmarried. You are 5 feet 2 inches tall. You have brown hair and green eyes. You weigh 115 pounds and while you were upstairs farting around, you missed your bus to Greensburg! |
Sharon At Two
Look At That Great Face!
My sister Betty and her husband Chuck McCloskey
had three children... Whoops! Make that four!... I mean five children!
The youngest of the first three was 13 when along came
two more beautiful girls in 20 months. Sandy arrived in October 1959
and Sharon in June 1961.
All of Betty's kids were happy and full of fun, but one girl
in particular was born with an innate curiosity, openness,
and wonderful mischievousness that would drive her
mother almost to the brink at times. It's no exaggeration to
say that my niece Sharon had a deliciously devilish look in her eye, that
I first noticed before she was two years old.
We all know that most young children honestly express
their feelings, however Sharon could be brutally honest.
Her Aunt Grace had taken in a boarder, a 25 year old woman named Nora.
One day as she and Grace sat talking, Sharon sat nearby taking it all in.
Nora had just said something about herself not being very
pretty. Sharon graciously tried to sooth her with the comment "Nora
your arms and legs are pretty, it's just your face that's not pretty".
The McCloskey children were taught that all the body parts
between the waist and the thighs, should be referred to
as the "heint". One day when the family was in a restaurant,
Betty took four year-old Sharon into the crowded ladies room. It's understood
that public restrooms harbor bacteria the size of mature hamsters,
and women have an aversion to actually sitting down on the john themselves,
let alone placing their child in danger.
So Betty held Sharon over the pot to relieve
herself. When she was through, it was her mom's turn to
squat a few inches over the bowl. As she did, Sharon
stooped down to peer under her mom's dress and exclaimed quite loudly
"mommy, why do you have hair on your heint?"
Betty tried to shoosh her, but that definitely was the
wrong thing to do with this little lady.
Sharon put her hands on her hips defiantly and shouted at the
top of her voice, "Well! Why do you have hair
on your heint?"
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage
So Betty held Sharon over the pot to relieve
herself. When she was through, it was her mom's turn to
squat a few inches over the bowl. As she did, Sharon
stooped down to peer under her mom's dress and exclaimed quite loudly
"mommy, why do you have hair on your heint?"
Betty tried to shoosh her, but that definitely was the
wrong thing to do with this little lady.
Sharon put her hands on her hips defiantly and shouted at the
top of her voice, "Well! Why do you have hair
on your heint?"
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage
As they hurriedly left the stall, they were met by several
hysterical women with smeared lipstick, and tears
washing mascara down their faces.
It wasn't too long before Sharon acquired all the social graces, and
became another beautiful McCloskey lady like her two older sisters.
One can only hope that her children bring her all the joy
and adventure that she gave her mother.
Sharon Today
Pretty As A "Rose of Sharon"
Return To Cookie Thumbs
OR
Return to my Homepage